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Submitted on
April 21, 2007
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Like twisting wires our fingers now entwine
Our speech so soft the wind canít overhear
His whispers somehow more sincere than mine
I realize I donít want to be this near

He says that he adores my every trait
Is sure he sees no other god than me
My fondness for him simply canít equate
A shallow pool against his endless sea

I love him, wish him only happiness
As sister might to brother or to friend
His feelings suffocate me, I confess
Too guilty now to bring about the end

The fault we two companions canít ignore
In love, and yet one loves the other more.
Written for my English class. The assignment was pretty simple- write a sonnet, keeping as close to the form as possible. 14 lines, 10 syllables per line, alternating rhyme scheme with couplet at the end, iambic pentameter and all. Blargh. Actually, it wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be once I got going. I ended up writing about something I was feeling a few weeks ago (that's all I'm saying- to the person this is about, you know we've fixed things since then).

You know, this is the first piece of rhyming poetry I've ever written that I actually liked. O.o
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:iconbook-fish:
book-fish Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
I have the same assignment and this is really amazing awesome job!
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:iconkumi-yumi:
Kumi-Yumi Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Beautiful! It flows nicely C:
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
"Like twisting wires our fingers now entwine" I love that line. I think it embodies the whole poem perfectly.
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:iconavi17:
avi17 Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012
Thank you so much! :)
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:iconperpetualsunrise:
PerpetualSunrise Featured By Owner May 15, 2012
I think this was very well written and I'm glad you actually liked it because I sure did. This poem hits pretty good close to home with a relationship of mine in the past. I think you captured it very well! Esp about the suffocating part. Bravo and hope all is okay with your relationship.
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:iconavi17:
avi17 Featured By Owner May 15, 2012
Thank you very much! :) I'm glad that you can identify with it (though the feeling sucks). Haha, well, I wrote this five years ago, so that relationship is LONG over, but thanks. ;P
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:iconmistyentertainment:
MistyEntertainment Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2012
This is awesome
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:iconavi17:
avi17 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2012
Thanks! :)
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:icondeinktvis:
deinktvis Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2011  Student Writer
nice! not a big sonnet fan, but this is very well constructed!
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:iconavi17:
avi17 Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2011
Thanks. :)
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