literature

The Cupcake King's Carol

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Literature Text

The King of Gondolin look'd out
O'er his shining city;
Which, with winter snow about,
Really looked quite pretty.
Nearly had he turned his back,
When he saw, with worry,
One dark figure cloaked in black,
Fists balled up in fury.

"Come, my captain, tell me now
Why that boy doth languish?
Who is he?  I would know how
I might ease his anguish."
"Tis your nephew Maeglin, sire,"
Came Glorfindel calling,
"And I'm told of late, his ire
can be quite appalling."

"So it is," the King replied,
"But what has him fretting?"
"Idril hath her hand denied,
Which he found upsetting."
"Nonsense!  Why should he be mad
For so small a reason?
'Tis unhealthy to be sad
In this happy season."

"Bring me flour, sugar, eggs;
Bring me milk and butter:
Heat the oven, move those legs!
Not one protest utter!
I shall make a special treat
To soothe the pain he's feeling-
After all, my cupcakes sweet
are good for mental healing."

Then he baked with all he had,
braved the snowy weather:
So it was that king and lad
Ate cupcakes together.
Therefore, Noldor folk, be sure,
Since Christmas is nearing-
Bring your friends a cupcake cure
if they need some cheering!
........Wtf. XP

Sung to the tune of "Good King Wenceslas," of course. ;P If you don't know the song, it's one of those kind of ye-olde-Englishy Christmas carols to which really, most people only know the first verse even though they know the tune. XD Real lyrics can be found here [link] but the general gist is about some king who decides to bring food to a homeless guy as a gesture of goodwill.

...Which somehow got interpreted into teen-angsty Maeglin being pissy and crack!Turgon trying to cheer him up with cupcakes. All still masquerading as a ye-olde-Englishy Christmas Carol, which I guess is appropriate since it's Silmarillion crack. XP Apparently Turgon is an oblivious moron who means well. ;P Note- even if you know The Silmarillion, unless you're in the Noldorin Icon Family, you're not gonna get why Turgon's solution to absolutely everything is cupcakes. XD

I apologize if this is epically terrible, but I was amused. XP

Merry Christmas, my dear family! I love you all! :heart: :hug:
© 2011 - 2024 avi17
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Glorrosaelin's avatar
Brilliant. Just brilliant. The rhyming and phasing and everything is just so perfect. ;p And of course, Turno's cupcakes can do anything (even fly!). :D